Monday, May 6, 2013

What To Expect When You're NOT Expecting

I get it all.

"You don't want kids? Why? What's wrong with you? There's a hole that can only be filled by having children!" I've even gotten a "You know you can't get into heaven if you don't have children, right?" No, seriously, someone had the nerve to say those exact words to me.

Let me start by stating the obvious.


This has very little to do with being afraid of bringing a child into this horribly sadistic world. I simply have no desire to change the life I've got now. I have a wonderful husband, a life of leisure, and money to spare. Why would I want to mess that up?

I would also raise my child the way I think a child should be raised. According to most of society, however, my methods are horrible and abusive. I would spank my child which I do not believe to be a form of child abuse. All this "go to your room and think about what you've done" crap does NOT work. My child would not have any gaming systems. They would have outdoor activities and outdoor activities only. They wouldn't get a cell phone, I'd never buy them a car, and they'd have to wait until they were 18 to get their drivers license.

I don't want to wake up in the middle of the night to the smell of crap. I'm not in the mood to change my alarm clock tone to the horrible barfing sound. There is NOT a hole in my heart/life/world because there aren't any children in it. I WILL get into heaven without the presence of a eighteen year long, money grubbing, shit factory in my life. I will not apologize for my way of thinking when it comes to children. 

People of the world ... those who want this can keep this!!

As long as I can give them back when they start crying, stinking, throwing up, or doing anything other than smiling and laughing at me I absolutely adore children.


  1. Hooray for you! I have met many people who live very rewarding and fulfilling lives without children. Parenting is the most difficult job/commitment anyone can take on. AND when all is said and done, for those who knowingly decide to partake, it is one of the most rewarding. However, many people don't conscientiously make the decision - they just procreate with only the image of that cooing/smiling baby in mind. Thankfully, you made the decision that is right for you!

  2. Hah! Yes.

    So I am actually expecting. My first tiny apocalyptic creature. BUT! I agree. I have a hugehugehuge problem with the "you just don't know happiness/fulfillment until you have a child" bullshit. I heard that. A lot. (Husband and I were not keen on the kid-having up until the last few years. We had other things to do.) I vehemently believe that a child will not make my life better (or worse), just different. You are not lacking in Amazing because you don't have a crying, wriggly creature living in your home.

    Anyway. Yes. I agree. I'm not an avid cellphone user and I have no intention to procure one for my spawn. I believe in books, not television. I'm certainly not interested in plunking a toddler down in front of Dora The Explorer just so that I can have "a break," or get something done in my house.

    Great post. Great decision. I dig it. Thank you for taking the time to actually write this down, it's important.


I'm always interested to hear, or read, what people have to say so, please, leave me a comment. I am all for healthy debates but am not a proponent of picking on someone because of their thoughts.