Thursday, December 6, 2012

Fitting In & Why I Don't Try Anymore

In high school I was a drama nerd. At the time it was because I thought that's the only group I fit into. I was fat so I couldn't be a popular kid. I didn't do drugs so I absolutely did not fit in with the stoners. I was trying to fit in anywhere I could and thought that I'd settled on being a drama nerd. As I age I realize that it really wasn't because that's where I fit, that I did drama, it was because that's where I belonged.
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I belonged in a group that accepted someone who just didn't care what anyone else thought, even though at the time I did care. I belonged with a group of people who truly understood that, no matter what anyone else said, we really were mentally OK. I belonged with people that never wanted me to change who I truly was.

It took me a long time, until I was 25 or so, to figure out that I am OK just the way I am. I don't have to be skinny or have the greatest hair. It doesn't matter that I choose to wear glasses, because I have an extremely flat face, because that's who I am. I don't need to have more money, toys, or boyfriends than everyone else and I absolutely do NOT have to impress anyone unless I want to.

I'm that girl that just doesn't care what you think of me anymore. I don't wear nice clothes, I don't have every expensive thing that I think I need, and I don't drive brand new luxury cars. I've seen what that gets you. It makes you obsess over things that really shouldn't be bothering you on a daily basis. I am not the neighborhood's Jones family and that's alright with me. I couldn't imagine spending my life trying to be.

I'd rather obsess over the next sewing pattern I'm going to tackle or the next crochet pattern that I have to try. I'd rather sit at home all day with nothing to do than worry if my car meets the standards of my neighborhood (which isn't really an issue where I live) or if my interior decorating skills are going to impress someone.

I've stopped trying to fit in because I already do. I fit into my own mold. I never had to be someone I'm wasn't to find someone that would love me. Ever since I realized those simple but true facts my life has been amazing.

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3 comments:

  1. Great post. I have never felt like I fit into any group, at least not for long, so I can relate to a lot of what you said. Here's to square pegs!

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  2. Hooray for being you!! : ) I was totally the "everyone must like me!!" girl for a long long time until I realized that not everyone is going to like me and that's ok! Not everyone is going to understand you and the ones who don't, don't really matter because you wouldn't want to hang out with them anyway! ;)

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I'm always interested to hear, or read, what people have to say so, please, leave me a comment. I am all for healthy debates but am not a proponent of picking on someone because of their thoughts.